This morning was a little crappy. Yesterday my Mazda5 started making a really loud rattling noise, so I got off the highway and to the closest gas station, where I waited for Ian to come and pick us up. This morning I brought it to my mechanic, who had a look and a listen and informed me that I was now in the market for either a new engine or a new car – my call. Le Sigh.
Anyway, I’ve been sitting here moping about 1. How can I possibly afford a new engine (or a new car)? 2. How on earth am I going to get the kids to and from school tomorrow? 3. Why didn’t I notice sooner that there was something wrong? 6. Etc. Etc. Etc.
And then suddenly I thought to myself, I’m pretty goddamn lucky! I’m sitting here in my heated house when some people who have houses can’t afford to heat them and others don’t have homes at all. I’m worrying about the fact that I can’t drive to the grocery store when a) I’m fit and healthy and could walk there; and b) I have enough food in the house that I don’t actually have to go anyway. I’m worrying about a car that I don’t owe anything on when just being able to drive a car, let alone owning one outright, is a bloody luxury. I had to cancel Ben’s violin lesson tonight because I can’t drive him there. Violin lesson? How many kids get violin lessons??
So I’ve decided to set a timer for 1 minute and in that time write down everything that I can think of that I am thankful for. As they say on Top Chef, “Time starts…now!”
1. I have a working computer to write this on and a reliable internet connection.
2. I have beautiful, articulate, gifted children with no medical issues.
3. I have a loving, supportive husband, who comforted me on the phone this morning when I was blaming myself for the car.
4. I have people whom I can ask for help at a moment’s notice – like the woman whom we met when she used to work at our farmers’ market who is picking Ben up for me and the friend I called for advice about the car yesterday when I couldn’t reach Ian and who offered to lend me his car to finish my trip to Toronto.
…1 minute is up…
5. My fridge, freezer, and cupboard are full to overflowing, even though I haven’t been to the grocery store for a week.
6. I have credit and savings enough that though it will be an inconvenience, I can get through this.
…2 minutes is up…
7. I have a funny, active 3 year-old who is “bugging” me as I do this, giggling and pulling my hand away from the keyboard.
8. I have a skilled and sympathetic mechanic who looked at my car this morning even though he was swamped, had his son give me and Molly a ride home, and is going to find me the best deal on a used engine that he can.
9. I am healthy and happy – really happy – and since my depression is treated I actually can think about the positives in my life instead of being overwhelmed by the one negative!
10. I have to keep resetting my timer because it keeps running out before I finish thinking of blessings!
I mean, seriously – could anyone look at this kid and not grin back?
As Bif Naked would Tweet: “Word of the day: Gratitude *beam*”
What are you grateful for today?